Earlier this year our eldest daughter and her husband lost their longed
for and much prayed for twins. This inevitably caused me much personal
sadness and grief.

This blog is my attempt to describe my faith and feelings surrounding
this time.

I have travelled to a place I never wanted to be given a ticket for
I have felt the terrible tearing of my heart
I have tossed my dreams into the trash can and seen them crushed
I have looked at the scan of a broken body and held it together
I have waited and worried in hospital waiting rooms
I have looked at a tsunami of emotion rushing towards me knowing I could
do nothing but stand and be engulfed

But now I have carefully and gently added to the tapestry of my life a
couple of silver strands that are very small and short.
I have woven their delicate silk thread and unsung song into the pattern
and music of our family’s life, for now and forever into our eternal
future.

So I am still sure of his faithfulness even if I lack faith, for he can
be and do nothing else. It would be against his very nature (2 Timothy 2
v 13).
Nothing will change that for me. “For I am convinced that neither death
nor life…
can separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8 v 38-39). He never
abandoned me or let me alone, he pursued me with his love.

You can never know what circumstances those we love will have to face;
you can never really prepare your children for the unknown future they
will have to face. But you can hope and pray that they have deep roots of
faith that will hold them steady amid the winds of life that threaten to
flatten them.

That even if temporarily broken, they will be able to slowly turn their
hearts towards their Heavenly Father and heal and begin live again.
I give thanks for that.