The well known author of the book “The Culture code ” describes very vividly the one person he would not want to be.
It’s a 21st century American woman. He says they are way too many conflicting expectations and competing codes in a American woman’s life today.
I think this is so true.

Every woman I meet, and this is hundreds if not thousands in a year, all are conflicted about something.
Here are the top most common causes of conflict and the ones I have had the most conversations about. I am sure every woman can relate to at least a couple if not all 20.
1 I need to be a career woman, even though I don’t like leaving my children and I think they will grow up and think I was a bad mother.

2. I need to be attractive and slim, even though this is unrealistic for my stage of life or body shape.

3.I need to belong to a gym, even though I have no money or time to join one.

4.I should be current with the latest social media updates, new films and books, even when the only think I ever watch is Disney and I no longer care about who is in a “relationship ” with who.

5.I need to be sexy and well groomed, even when the only thing I want to do is sleep when my head touches the pillow.

6.I need to be on twitter or Instagram at least 5 times a day either posting deep spiritual insights or stunning photos. Even though I haven’t opened my bible in weeks and the only thing worth photographing in my life is my dog.

7.I need to be on face book 5 times a day posting beautiful photos of my beautiful life, even when I am very bored with my life and feel frustrated about where my life is heading.

8.I need to have a house that looks like a “pottery barn catalogue”, even though I have no money or inclination.

9.I need to attend every bridal shower and baby shower and buy the most beautifully wrapped present with more tissue in it than a Kleenex box, even though I don’t know the person well and it’s feels like I have been at 100′s this year for others and no one did this for me.

10.I need to have a husband that is successful and looks like a GQ model even when he is struggling at work and wears old college t shirts that smell and have holes in them.

11.I need to boast about my husbands sporting or hunting prowess even though he is so uncoordinated he would shoot himself before a duck.

12.I need to have perfectly behaved, neat, tidy, color coordinated children even though they all fight and hate each other and all my washing turns grey.

13.I need to have lots of best friends so we can face book about all the cool girly things we do together even though I am lonely.

14.I need to go on Pintrest and do multiple crafts even though I have no idea what it is and don’t own a glue gun.

15.I feel I need to stay in my career as I have paid a high price to get it even though now the kids are older they need me more.

16.I need to attend every bible study and do all the homework even though I don’t even know where Hosea is in the bible or under what pile of junk I left my bible.

17.I need to care about the world even when I only just have enough capacity to care for those immediately around me and I don’t feel I do that well either.

18.I need to have a plan for my life even when I am not sure who I am.

19 I should have children even when I am scared I will loose myself, my body, my career and my husband.

20. I should be married by now even though every guy I meet that is remotely attractive is already married.

I thought I could have it all, even when I knew it was a lie.

If we could just grasp that our identity is in Christ alone even though sometimes it doesn’t feel that way .This is a discipline,a prayer and then a way of looking at life. We have to first find our security in who we are before God, before we look at who we are alongside others.