Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15: 4 – 6:ESV

“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me.I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing John 15:4 – 6 MSG

The day had finally arrived. I was so ready that I woke up before the dawn as if to try to will the sun into a new day. We were moving, leaving our life in California in response to God’s call to the Twin Cities, Minnesota. But first we were going to have a mini sabbatical. We had 5 weeks and God had provided for us in His wonderful Faithful Father like ways. I was ready to enjoy it, to engage with it to embrace it. I would not resist Him. I had gathered a considered book list, ready to expand my intellectual capacity. And with iTunes at my side, I prepared to immerse myself in music that stirred my soul. I bought a few journals, because God had my attention and he WOULD speak to me. Deeply. Seriously, I knew this rhythm of life stuff. One season had ended and our lives had been pruned back. A new season will begin soon, but before that ABIDE, remain. Time to be with him and the key relationships He’s given you. And listen for the Word, His Word, that leads you into the future. Yep, I get it. Bring. It. On.

Well. My book list… it never happened. Not one of them. And my iTunes account looks like it’s been invaded by Radio Disney, thanks to two sweet girls who wanted a soundtrack for a road trip. I wrote a few things in my journals, but He wrote much more on my heart. Here are just a few things from that abiding time:

The great thing about abiding is that it gives your heart and mind time to think and feel. The hardest thing about abiding is that it gives your heart and mind time to think and feel. And there was time to think and feel more deeply than I’m often comfortable with. The great thing about busyness is that it keeps you moving! You only have time to lick your wounds, to justify your decisions, to defend your actions and keep going. When abiding happens, and there is space to observe, reflect, discuss, plan, account, act… and wounds can get cleansed and heal. Life has pause before decisions are made. The heart has space for humility rather than automatic self-defense. And grief reminds you that you cannot ignore it, avoid it, repress it, and divert it forever. It’s just there. So abiding gave me room, not so much to think, but to finally admit what I was already thinking and feeling, just expressed in all sorts of ways. Soon I’m on my knees at the foot of the cross again, and I’m home.

I’d forgotten that abiding isn’t just about stopping and being isolated for awhile. It might include solitude, but abiding happens in community too. Look at all that amazing times the disciples has when Jesus took them on retreat to get away from the demands of the crowds. Abiding comes in plural and singular formats! Besides, I have 2 kids who are not going to sit and watch me read books for 5 weeks. Maybe not even 5 minutes. And, I’m an extrovert. Like REALLY extrovert. I talk when I write, I talk when I sleep (Truth: I’ve even spoken to someone on the phone in my sleep. Never heard from them again, but as my sister will tell you, it happened).

I learned again what abiding looks like in community. We spent 3 wonderful weeks with our 3DM family. Meals, coffees, beach days, hanging by the pool, talking, listening – being. There’s something incredibly rich in life as extended family. There’s something incredibly special reconnecting with people who’ve known you a long time and know you. They remind you of whose you are and who you are. At certain moments I felt like Lazarus being unwrapped, brought back to life; old restrictive bandages thrown away over coffee and conversation. On our final day they gathered around us and prayed for us, with us, commissioned us. It was wonderful, powerful and my youngest Zoë saw the bowed heads as an opportunity to wipe off my lip gloss and reapply it on herself. Life, for real.

And then there was Team Saxton time, the fab four on the road, talking, exploring, discovering, singing! We talked about how it felt to leave our friends and prayed for God to provide for our new life. It was so good to immerse ourselves in their world as we moved across the country even if it meant singing Beiber, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and Disney songs. Later as they slept, their parents talked and listened long into the night, face to face. Time for more than a catch up or rushed conversation. Time to be.

Yet somehow God still carved out plenty of solitude. We spent a few days in Zion & Bryce Canyon in Utah. And its sheer beauty spoke loudly and clearly to me. Like this:

And this:

It blew me away that the Creator of all this knew my name. Knew my life, my struggles, my potential, my self-centeredness and STILL loved me. It took me back to one summer’s evening in London when I watched the sun set over the inner city apartment block I lived in. I knew that I needed to give God my life not just my moments. He was better at life than me, and he was for me. Late one night, 20 years after that sunset, a star lit sky stained my face with tears and I surrendered my life to Him again. He’s my King My Covenant Partner, My Dad. And He sings over me. God surrounded me with His beauty and spoke to me. Deeply.

Now we’re in a new home. Chris and I are settling into a new church and community. Last weekend we celebrated with the kids the gazillion ways God answered all of our prayers over the summer. They stepped onto the school bus and into a new season. I still hum a little Radio Disney now and then. There are abiding times carved into the day and in the week and I feel refreshed, envisioned, maybe a little bolder. My head and heart are clearer. I dare to dream… there’s much more room for vision these days. Besides, I know whose I am and what I’m living for; and OUR God is BIG.

In some ways it seems odd to post this now; its kick off and so this is that season where life gets really busy. Until that next season where life gets really busy. Then the next…oh wait…

There may not be room for a sabbatical, mini or otherwise anytime soon. But the Lord still calls, invites you to abide. Abide in Him, and the relationships He’s given you. Receive the word that will lead you forward. It’s part of a rhythm for your life that yes, is radically countercultural – but is exactly what you need, because it’s how He designed you and He wants you to thrive.

What is God saying about your rhythm of life right now?

And what are you going to do about it?