If the thought of having an extra place at the dinner table, a few people over for an evening , or a missional community night in your home fill you with emotions that range from dread to abject horror, fear not dear ones. The not- gifted- in- hospitality member of the 3dm team in this area is here to help you!

Below you’ll find some of the things I’ve learned along the way. Of course it is not exhaustive; I’m relatively new to this. I’m probably missing some really obvious stuff. So to all who read this post thinking of all I’ve left out – write something, anything in the comments section.I need we need your input.

Get His vision for what your home could be

Sometimes we want the dream house before we open our home, and forget to ask God what His dream for our home might be . My dream house was big and airy like the ones in the free magazines.It magically cleaned itself and someone paid the mortgage anonymously. Unsurprisingly God has been growing a new vision in my heart. I was worried about needing an impressive house to be missional. He was calling me to build a home. And though His call was challenging , it inspired me. It was of a home where we made disciples around our table. Where our kids’ friends and their parents feel welcome. Where the word family has blurred edges and our people of peace see Jesus in everyday life. A home where people can get a taste of community, but also feel confident that they could replicate the same thing in their own homes. I’d experienced this kind of home many times over the years. I can remember the signature conversations, the kairos over coffee, the prayers of breakthrough. In a living room, on the stairs, in the kitchen leaned against the wall.

Do you have His vision for your home? Or do you feel limited by the size or style of your home? When you have a heart for big gatherings but a kitchen built for one and a half people, your limitations can become opportunities.Your larger gatherings may choose a restaurant or a playground or movie theater instead. But don’t forget that your home offers a unique opportunity too.You see with His dream it doesn’t have to be big house. You might not have a stunning dining room with a long oak table ( darn you Pinterest!). But you might have a few trays/magazines for a smaller number of people from your community to put on their laps as you watch Idol/The Voice/Survivor/Some big game you’re supposed to care about… together. Informal but fun.

Seek His vision for what your home could be, limitations and all. Dream with Him.

Get practical

Some of my huddles meet in our home. We’ve hosted missional community type gatherings, prayer meetings, leadership meetings, neighbors and playdates. And now in no particular order of importance, some practical things

We have a huge supply of napkins, paper plates, and ‘plastic ware’. It doesn’t look sophisticated, and I’ve noticed that no one cares. And when young kids are around no parent has to worry about their child breaking anything special.

Or I get the real stuff out. It’s from Ikea, its easy and accessible and simple. Again no one looks down on me for it. I appreciate friends who have beautiful dishes, I enjoy the beauty who have made the centerpiece an table an art form, but I’m not gonna let the Evil Trifecta spoil my appreciation of their gift by being insecure.

I don’t try out new recipes when people come over. I do ones that I’ve done for years. I keep it easy. No stress and no effort to impress. That said, I try to encourage my kids not to say “We’re having that AGAIN?” This was accomplished by buying them pizza.

I also employ that special recipe known as takeout/ the take away. I love having the list of menus on standby and saying – what shall we eat tonight?

Another favorite? The take- and- bake pizza. We’ve had some brilliant nights around those. I’ve been complimented on my ability to select a good pizza. It’s a gift I reply.

For big gatherings remember the potluck is a spiritual gift. Embrace that baby. Always.

Two reasons:

1) If you can’t cook don’t have to. Everyone else has done it and its awesome. You can provide, water, chips and salsa, baguettes, cheese.

2) Everyone gets to play. You’re not a restaurant providing a service for clientele; you’re building community. People get to share their best recipes, or buy that baguette – and you get to share food together as equals. If someone has allergies they bring stuff they can eat and they don’t feel awkward about it. It’s so inclusive, it helps people feel like they belong. And the leftovers will be great for days

If a meal is too much invite people over for dessert or appetizers. Less to do, especially if its a potluck. I once went to a Missional Community led by fabulous foodies and we made a set of appetizers together. I didn’t have to bring any skills, just the list of ingredients they told me to bring. Yummiest. Night. Ever.

NB: When people come over & someone asks if they can help. Say yes. Even if it kills you. It’s often killing the part of you that needs to die to itself anyway. Your pride.

How to prepare your home:

I’m not always the tidiest person, but when people come over, a zealous motivation comes over me. It’s amazing. I guess it’s a twisted form of accountability, but it does the job. Over time as life has gotten fuller, I’ve gone full blown Proverbs 31 woman on the situation. We employed a cleaner (Read it peeps, Pr. 31:15. She had servant girls, Not one. Plural. Eshet Chayil indeed) I had to be honest with myself, I’m a working mom. I can’t do it all. When the house is clean and clear I feel more willing and able to invite people in.

Do you feel inadequate about how your home looks and feel a bit helpless about how to make it work? There are blogs, and if you’re more disciplined than me, ideas on Pinterest that can help you whatever your budget. But if like me you get a little overwhelmed by all the ideas, perhaps you can enlist some help from someone you know. We have a lovely home, but its largely because my husband has an incredible eye for design and light, and is so patient with Craigslist, its like a spiritual gift. In addition I got some great ideas for finishing touches from some very good friends (Read: Sally Breen & Lisa Strom) what to do to make a home look good and be effective. I just had to ask, let them in.

Other things that come to mind:

Have some books and toys around for younger kids, some kids’ utensils.

Have some DVDs that you know are fun for everyone . Watch them again in advance if you need to check. Don’t be like the unsuspecting guy who took his very conservative mom to see The Black Swan because she loved ballet and….

Hide. The. Sharpies (permanent marker pens). Seriously.

And. The. Superglue.

I have a few folding chairs in the garage.

I get nice plug- in air fresheners and the toilets are the last thing I check before I open the door. It might be efficiency, but it’s probably paranoia. It works.

I play music in the background, because it adds to the atmosphere and it relaxes me!

If there is alcohol at the event, I keep it in a separate place from the non alcoholic drinks. Some people need it that way right now. I like to buy nice non alcoholic drinks too.

I enlist the help of the most efficient looking person who walks through the door.

I know how to smile.

I may also silently pray an old familiar prayer “Holy Spirit Come”. He doesn’t disappoint.

You see ? Nothing new there. You’ve got this!

Is your home ready?

Do you need His vision beyond the limitations that you see?

How can you get practical?

Who can you invite to help you?

And any of you with great ideas and resources to contribute, now its your turn. The comments section awaits your goodness! I need We need you. Quite desperately.

Part 1

Part 2